Reuters reports turned sexy!

1.)Wild Dancing Earns Nun A Reprimand

She was 29 and clinging, swaying, dancing -
Legs wrapped around her missionary lover,
Floating in the air, her nun’s habit flowing;
The front of it pulled daringly back to uncover

Her shaved little mound pushed out 'gainst a thong,
Black and leathery. Round and round she spun
Upsidedown, feeling his holy rod growing strong.
It poked its bulge 'gainst his livery, and won

A victory o'er her flesh in Marienfeld, Germany
Where celebrants at Catholic World Youth Day,
The Pope, and Mother Superior turned to see
Sister Johanne V________ get a little carried away.

Unstockinged legs cinched his waist proudly,
Her arms fell limp - he held fast to her waist.
Humping and bumping him, moaning too loudly,
She dry humped a man who had tried to be chaste

Blaming the crowd for her sexual thrashings,
"I wouldn't do this at home." Her excuse is thin,
For most Catholic girls enjoy taking lashings,
And the look in her eyes beckons - discipline.

2.)Lottery Winners Want New Nylons, Car

"New nylons," and a car to show them off in
Is what the fetishists demanded,
Taking the Ontario Lotto for 7.5 million
In one cool sweep. They glad-handed

Their way into the Canadian Mint
Where they persuaded the teller
To dress in a crotchless leopard print
Bodysuit, like a slutty brothel dweller.

Victor insists on a flamboyant pimp hat
With his retro Lincoln Town Car,
And a cane, of course, to smack you flat -
He emphasizes with a steely gaze from afar.

Thelma, his wife, enjoys a playful spanking.
Their two daughters are shapely computer nerds
Who suffer the humiliation of wearing nothing
But heels and black sheer to the waist Wolfords.

The nylon-obsessed couple do not conceal
Their plans to build a fetish theme park.
Models strapped to a knife thrower's wheel
And other delights will surely hit their mark.

3.)Belgian Women's Team Lose 50-1

Belgian women's soccer team SK Berlaar
Lost to rival KV Mechelen, who are by far
The cuter in their knee high socks so sweet,
Yet inflicting a humiliating 50-1 defeat

"Our keeper went to Pukkel Pop." -
Which is Belgian slang for halter top
Flashing and rubbing to gets into clubs -
Said substitute goalkeeper Charlotte J_____.

"Right at the end, they allowed us to score
But only if we Pukkel Popped 'til we were sore."
Why are their rivals so darn sleezy?
The girls of SK Berlaar are too easy!