- Erotic Poetry
- ride me now
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you could
ride me now,
straddle me and
bring your sweet cunt
down to my eager mouth,
your lips meeting my lips, and
feel my flickering tongue,
tracing the edges of
your divine vulva's
cobra hood,
as I rake
my fingers down
your chest, your sides,
and lap you hard, feeling
your clit sliding up and down
my nose, pressed tightly
against my flesh
as I drink
your juices
into my soul,
my fingers stroking
your naked thighs as
they squeeze my head,
threatening to pop
my brain clean
out of its
bone
prison,
as I devour
your clit, running
my lips over it, teasing it,
tugging it, sliding my lips
back and forth over it,
nibbling it while
my searching
hands
find
your tits,
my fingers tracing
circles around your oh
so hard nipples as I take your
throbbing clit firmly in my
hot mouth, tugging it
like a great white
shark,
as you
scream out
in ecstasy, grabbing
my head, clutching it against
your hitherto lonely cunt, while I wrap
my arms around your thighs,
pull your precious cunt
tightly over my
face,
let
you ride my
nose, your wet walls
surrounding my face as
you buck up and down like
a bull-riding cowgirl, my tongue
lashing you like a demon's,
my hands on your
ass as I pull
you
almost
inside my flesh, my
thirst never quenched
as you cry out and come,
drowning me in your juices,
and then we stay there
just listening to
the soft
rain,
two souls
momentarily lost
in each other in what
should be forever, then I
feel you quiver, hear you moan,
as your hands reach down
to my head, asking
for another
ride.
If you were only here,
you could ride
me now,
- COMMENTS
bronzeageabout 13 years agoso shaped poems are an illusion. Justify to right or left and the diamonds become a sawtooth edge. Read one aloud and the audience has no idea what shape the lines take on the page. It could be called a contrivance, but no more so than haiku, tanka or other syllable count poems. It is not a negative criticism, just a technical description. This piece pushes the limits of contrivance. This many diamonds on a necklace would be called gaudy. There is a limit in every art.
I read this piece silently and then aloud. The meter is broken in the first line with "If you were only here". "If only you were here, reads smoother. Many of the following lines contain words which break the read in a similar way and seem to be inserted just to maintain the shape. The imagery suffers for it.
One part cannot be overlooked (pardon the reformatting into sawtooth):
"I take your
throbbing clit firmly in my
hot mouth, tugging it
like a great white
shark,"
No. Don't do that. Never combine a clitoris and a shark simile.
twelveooneabout 13 years agowhen it is excessive it becomes a distraction, anon. say something about the poem. at least the word choices at the end of the line are, for the most part, good choices.
Anonymousabout 13 years agoLoved the shape. Some people may view it as contrived, but isn't poetry a contrivance?
UnderYourSpellabout 13 years agoI'd like this far better if I didn't have to search through the odd shapes to find the poem, it doesn't need that sort of layout. Bits here and there are clichéd but it kept my attention to the end, far more than a lot of the recent dirty ditties submitted and masquerading as poetry.
twelveooneabout 13 years agoa reason for the structure? Some of it looks like better than average porn. But, honestly, I can't see the poetry for the arrangement. A 4.
