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Click hereI saw you,
and fell in love.
I talked to you
and I wanted more.
You thrilled me;
fascinated me.
Never had my heart
raced so fast.
My mouth dried
and I was breathless.
Taking you in me
feeling you break me.
We loved; we cared
yet somehow we lost it all.
You can strengthen a poem like this with some imagery that supports your message.
jim : )
A familiar, well worn lamentation.
You are "telling" us.
You are not "showing" us,
nor creating emotion.
What is there in your poem to make your audience want to read your work?