Ruby, Don't Take a Dump in Town!

You're reaching for your zip
And uncurled your public hair
Ruby are you planning
To relieve yourself in there
There's faeces on the wall l
And urine on the floor
Oh Ruby
Don't take a dump in there!

It wasn't me
Who left and didn't go before
And I asked you once again
Before you closed the garage door!
And yes, it's true that
You can't stand up to pee
Oh, Ruby at least please wipe the seat!

It's hard to love a woman
With strange urine on her thighs
With my wants and needs of a woman of your age, Ruby, I realize
But it won't stay hard, look, look it's falling down...
Oh Ruby
Since you took a shit in town!

She's finished now cause
I just heard the slamming of the lid
And the way it slams
From the way it slams,
I know just what she did...
And if I could I'd get my gun
I'd put her in the ground
Oh Ruby
You bloody well sat down!!!
Oh Ruby for land'sakes you took a shit in town!

I think I'm gonna scat now!
Skoo Skoo Skooby Doo
Skoo Skooby Doo Doo Doo Doo
Piddly Poo Piddly Poo Pid Piddly Doo Doo Doo
Yeah I knew just what you do!
Fiddly Foo Fiddly Foo

No sex tonite
Not this week
Not this year
(Fade Out)
I insist on a medical