S M

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        ·° ¤¤¤ «S M»

I hope that ye do find light.
Something warm, and bright.
Something above, and beyond life.
A feeling, place, inside of thee,
thats always right.
And that you might remember it,
when things seem touched with blight.

I cannot make this journey alone.
And I feel right now so damned weary to the bone.
I feel right now very small and alone.
Wish I heard the bright again where light in shadow sings.
Strive to wake my mind and move imaginations wings.
Knowing that theres power there which can incredibly high,  my thoughts, fling.
Something I constantly forget, when, as now, so heavy all seems.

A fantasy?
Lets see.
What words might come my way?

Would you have me take you far from this place?
Wrap my arms 'round you and carry you far, far away?
Anywhere.
Where might be found peace.
Maybe near the top of the world.
Far to the east.

There where the sun does rise.
Some valley high.
Lay you down on short green grass.
Look around.
The lower mountain passes.
High intense blue sky.
Small clouds that fly swiftly by.
Look into your eyes.
Sitting here, you and I.
Near the top of the world.

I want to feel thee.
See thee.
Hear thee.
Smell thee.
Hear your dreams.
Wonder with thee at the way things do,
 and do not seem.

I want to taste thee.
The spice of thee.
Flavor and the wonder of thee.
The ever and the eternity.
Taste the mother of all in thee.
Taste the sea.
Earth and things of green.
Wonders of which I can scarce dream.
Wander the world,
 that we might the world together, see.
Wonder at the dreams in thee.
Share the dreams with thee that come to me.

Lay back in quiet.

Simply together.

In utter comfort.

Be....

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If I were to kiss you,
I swear I'd never close my eyes.
I want to see you there.
Both of us very very bare.
No real plan.
Just hold you tightly everywhere.
Somehow insanely believing that there,
I'd never have reason to be scared.

You....  Your a dream.
Do not understand how it can be that you are real.
You write me. I write you.
You somehow understand my thoughts, and how I feel.
I love you. Can you really be what you seem?
I feel like a child.
No control over my thoughts as in ANY direction,
they run incredibly wild.
Want to hold you  Hope never to cry with you
Be with and inside of you Never hurt you
Makes me cringe inside
Wish to die before I should lie to you.
I love you.
I trust you as a child should its mother.
That one of my primary goads.
Simple if there were no other.
I never had a mother like that.
Mine always did as she WANTED, and to often turned her back.
I see her and speak to her. Know her.
In my heart I despise her and cannot entirely trust, or forgive her.
She wonders to this day why. What she might have done.
Yet she unrealizing knows! Things I'VE forgotten shes told.
Feel the pain of abandonment hurt so.
This my deep fear and need.

Seed of my deepest mistrust.
The hope the child within seeks that you inspire till it seems my heart must bust.
I love you Baby.
Wish you were here with me.
Touch thee. Kiss thee. Hold thee tight and closely-never want to release thee.
See?
Desperate wants of the abandoned child.
Never truly left. But so percieved, and ever deeply aggrieved.
Know not if this hurt can ever be appeased.
Damn her!
Forgive her.
I don't know if I ever will be able to.

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You know I like it here, just listening to the sounds.
Distant traffic noises. People making their rounds.
I feel like we're here together.
Never met nor touched.
Yet known each the other, forever.
Brings to mind those stories.
Of souls from the beginning,
severed.
I love the way you talk to me.
Beautiful.
Sad, or tired.
Full of hope.
And that slooow smoldering heat.
More and more I seem to see.
You so well fit the princess of my fantasy.
Do you understand?
How much to me such means?
That you are such a friend to me...
Beautiful mind. Love of my fantasies.
How could I not want you?
 Very selfishly.

What IS love?
Something I just don't seem able to get enough of.
Unconciously convinced I do not deserve such?
Make it difficult for any to get close enough to touch.
In my world, this makes attaining any sort of happiness,
 extremely tough.
THAT IS NOT TRUE
'Once upon a time', perhaps it was.
Very, very slowly. Off and on, reality fades into, and out of view.
The more precious becomes the princess I see in you.
Thoughts of your body against mine.
Sweet flow of hair.
Touch you here. There.
To feel your voice on my ears.
No other sound of worth care I to hear.
Incredible beyond belief the miracle that you should appear.
But by every god that ever was, why over there?
Baby, I'm feeling a bit crazy.
Trying to bend space and time in my mind.
I WANT YOU,
   here......

What is innocense? And is it really dead?
Is it nonsense, to hope that such might only temporarily have fled?
"Legend"
 Reweaving of a tale that somehow always brings tears to my eyes.
Why should such always give rise to the urge to cry?
Wonder of a never-land.
Goblins,
 who by cruel device and lies,
 would rid the world of both shadow,
 and the bright.
Hide all in cold blackness.
Utter absence of light.

Welcome to my world.
Life = Pain.
Time = Change
Light + Dark = Shadow
Through all by Life,
 are we hurled.
In light,
 'tis sometimes easy to see where I might be deranged.
In shadow,
 easier to feel sane.

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You sounded so lost.
Hope thats just me.
Do not want to lose you,
sweetest ever of my dreams.

Solstice now, when the cold sears.
Darkest time of the year.
The light can only get brighter from here.

I see evidence of you everywhere.
Conspiracy the world seems to share.
Wander 'round a world that only sometimes, seems fair.

Truth is, I look up, wishing, to see you there.

Someone is your friend.
No one is your enemy.
All are teachers, in the end.

Dreaming, more and more, of your flesh.
Warm, smooth, soooo delicious, wet sex.
Flying high, deep into your bottemless eyes.
Fall in when they look into mine.
Those soo sweet lips.
Tender, hungry nibbles.
Fire inspiring kiss.
All consuming, tasting licks.
I do, so much you, miss....

Remember the moments here with me?
I can, in here, still you, see.
Hear, and feel you, here with me.
Wandering off again, into the most interesting of fantasies.

Goodbye, for now, sweet Baby....

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You light me up.
We all have our light.
Fire inside that could be called our souls,
and you feed mine.
Flame to flame.
SunMonkey you are indeed.

  Solar Primate Princess.
 Brightest fantasy I've ever been gifted with.

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