- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Secrets
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They found his broken body
on the bank of the storm dyke,
not hidden, the yellow irises crushed
as he fell, where only last summer
we made our secret pledge.
I hadn't seen him lately,
since that autumn keeping secrets
pulled us apart,
the truth too heavy for two.
They've closed the road
to the marshes, wild flowers
cover any signs of the past,
now it's only me
and the ghosts who remember.
- COMMENTS
greenmountaineerabout 13 years agoI agree with Liar. The narrative really works great. I was able to go in a number of different diretions with it, and they all seemed to fit well.
vrosej10about 13 years agoYou seems a good deal more comfortable in this one. Getting a recommend.
Liarabout 13 years agoThe narrative works great, the slips from past to present and back are effortless, the opening immediate in setting a mood.
I feel though you may be hammering in the idea of that secret a bit too deep. It's a secret, and again, then a heavy truth, then signs covered. One mention, at just the right place, might have boosted the effect.
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago...because - up to now my comments aren't sticking - but I love this moody, atmospheric work.
Tess
