seeker's paradigm

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Liar
Liar
59 Followers

seek and dream
we do
of course

of perfect match
of course
of certainty
security
seclusion
no repression
no remorse

seamless
seemless harmony
soft hands
no friction
flawless fiction
crystal windows
open doors

yes we seek
and dream
of course

until one day
we wake
and see
a harsher hand
but holding ours
tenderly

a little dust
an off key song
with simple words
imperfect
but you sing along

and swaying
though an unsure now
four feet walks steadier
than two
at least

Liar
Liar
59 Followers
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2 Comments
jthserrajthserraalmost 20 years ago
This one felt choppy...

I guess it was in the phrasing, but it didn't have the gentle flow between lines so many of your other works have. I liked the rhyme here, but it didn't overcome the choppiness.

jim : )

YDDYDDalmost 20 years ago
4 nickels' worth

A typical Liarical poem.

short lines,

similar sounds,

scattered rhymes.

I would have liked to have seen a rhyme in each of the longer stanzas,

and I think that in the line "four feet walks steadier",

"walks" should be "walk".

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