Seeking an Original Thought

Teeth tightly press,
fingers dance over keys,
hours pass fast,
window leaks cold
seeping into my brain,
freezes thought,
freezes this storm
dragged out over
two and a half decades.

"What can I say
that you haven't yet used?"
I ask him, silently.
He's not here today,
and I move eyes
over words
to bash out all
that I want
to confess
before I lose
the thread of bravery.

Words, words, words,
writing out memories,
tap, tap, tap -
bang!
Turn from monitor
when once again
I realize none
of what I wrote
is mine at all.

Start over again
and find new ways
to express my view
on the story as it
happened for me.
Reread the words
with quiver anticipation
that one day, my voice
will be heard over his.