She Wailed "Why am I Alive??"

It happened every day...
The faces she treasured above all others
The voices she was so glad to hear
The smiles and laughs that made her heart ache
Made her shed a bucket of tears

You'd think she'd be thrilled
Happy beyond measure to have such love
Most people look at her like
She may have lost her mind
When they see the family pictures

What can break her heart so?
Why does she wish so much to die?
Doesn't she know the joys of life?
Doesn't she know how many would trade
Their existence for hers in a heartbeat?

But all she feels is the guilt monster
As she swims against the black tide
Unable to eat, to sleep, to feel joy
Because she knows she's the one to blame
All gone in a second, and she is alone

One sip too many, one day done over
One pill never taken, one rant not repeated
And her family was gone from her arms
In a scream of twisted metal, glass and fire
She became a ghost of her former self

Now they look at her with anger
Pity has left the building in their rage
She was too high to be driving
When death came collecting souls
It took her love, her soul, but not her breath

There were graves to visit every day
Flowers and candles at the impact site
But no one welcomed her near them
so she laid there alone in her nightmare
Frozen in that one minute, her curse

Now she is the walking wounded
Unable to breathe without agony
Unable to think without seeing them
The pieces of her loves pulled out
Of the wreckage, of their funeral pyre