Sheer

Sheer terror
as my fingers
clench and unclench
around the sheets.
The bedding
warm, soft, simple
should provide comfort
not a reminder
of what I cannot do.
Soft words.
Whispers.
That tone
that tells me
it’s there for me
if I only want it
if I’m only willing to be his.
I feels his words wash over me.
I know his touch like it were my own.
His is the face I see before me
as my fingers uncurl,
release,
unclench,
let go
and finally
let me
be free.