- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Shhhhhhhhh
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Click hereIt doesn't matter eventually.
All the pain that eats
away what we think is left
gnaws right down to bone,
sucks up marrow, absconds
with whoever you were, leaves
a soul ill-fitted in skin
like a too-big glove.
Everything shrinks.
You can't eat
and your stomach is tight.
You ache. No fever,
just an ache from being stepped on,
stepped away from, over
like something in the way,
and the one thing that might knit
up the raveled sleeve of care
eludes, eludes.
I wet a clean washrag,
run cool cloth over your skin.
There's nothing left to wash
away that can be. Nothing left
but ruins of a once-good heart.
It still sparkles. Less.
More space between each diamond twitch,
but music still plays.
Smile. Swallow.
Close your eyes.
It's almost night. I feel
the breeze at the screen.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 20 years agoThis is one of your poems from the "Passionately" thread that stood out. I think it's a winner but agree it deserves a different title. S and nine Hs makes it more a command than a request. :-)
The emotion comes through clearly and the language, as always, is impeccable.
WickedEvealmost 20 years agolet's talk about that title. How about Shh? Two Hs? What do you think? ;)
fawniealmost 20 years agobehind this poem, i felt it too reading it..kinda piercing!
i thought it was very good even though raw emotion was powerful.
lovely!
perksalmost 20 years agoI don't get the title. Am I supposed to be quiet and listen? are you being quiet?<no!> Is this how you feel when you're being quiet? Not a good title choice. The best part of your poem is the last two lines. I wish you'd started with them, and portrayed feeling through imagery than just stated them so realistically. And, for some reason, I'm not sure you've ever been stomped on physically. Cause if you have, I'm not reading that in your poem. I get the emotional thing, but I'm not feeling it.
Eumenidesalmost 20 years agoAnd because of that I really can't say much about this poem except that it made me feel far more deeply than I want to.
