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Click hereThese days of punished generosity
are only thunder clouds, dwarfs in the sky,
who sling darts to answer kind intention,
but soon scattered by the wind who bore them.
If you are to suffer for mercy's sake
cling to my chest. I hold my shield skyward.
Imagine the drum of arrows on bronze,
the marching cadence of my beating heart.
Errant missiles skirt our shadow and nip
ankles like yelping dogs too small to note.
Let arrows pepper my shield, if the weight
should rend my shoulder, I have the other
sigh ...... my Hero! I quite like the dogs but then I'm all for terriers!
i buy into this. yes please. love this, especially its second half:
If you are to suffer for mercy's sake
cling to my chest. I hold my shield skyward.
Imagine the drum of arrows on bronze,
the marching cadence of my beating heart.
but agree with the overworking of the little dogs analogy. also suggest a semi after 'Let arrows pepper my shield,' rather than the comma used.
I like this, you are getting good at walking that fine line, ( of what good poets can get away with) except here:
yelping dogs too small to note.
cliche and not logical to boot.
worthy of a five, I thought so