Shifa Retrospective

It’s amusing to read
What I wrote some time back
So if you’re up to speed
Then move on, don’t back track
But for those who don’t know
Well allow me to bet
That you’ll laugh when you read
About “Shifa Unmet”

You see as I now write
It’s been 5 months and two
Days that Shif’s been the girl
Friend of yes, you-know-who
And although I can’t pretend
To at all understand
Why it turned out like this
Just as I NEVER planned

The fact is that it did
And a stranger inclusion
Is that as things now stand
It’s a happy conclusion
Tis a story of stealth
And pursuit unaborted
Not to mention the stalking
That her cousin supported

I was happy to chat
To a stranger online
And as chat pals, the two
Of us got along fine
Then somehow it migrated
To phone calls and voice
And to be honest with you
I don’t remember that choice

But the talking was fun
And we chatted for hours
No complications in this
All is good, nothing sours.

Could we stay like that?
No! For from Shifa I get:
“Don’t you think that it’s stupid
That we’ve never met?”

See she searched high and low
Drove to see where I stay
And she cased out my street
And she checked out my pay
She pushed till I gave
And I’ll never forget
Her bustling approach
When at last we first met

“Hi Paul I’m Shifa”
Giant skull crushing freak
Smiling face, “Muah, muah”
Wog kiss on each cheek
Unshaven, unkempt
My design was to fail
As we nervously waited
Me gorilla, she a whale

Gotta get this thing over
Meet the once and that’s it
Then she’ll get past the wanting
A relationship bit
In the end Pavan fronted
Some two hours late
We could finally go
On our first (and last!) date

Just a coffee in Leichhardt
Keep it all nice and tame
But another long detour
Had no wallet, no game
When we finally got there
It was getting quite late
With all this waiting and driving
On our very first date

By now I’m quite hungry
Oh well, stuff it we’ll eat
She can talk while I’m munching
That should be quite a treat
And because it’s the one time
She’ll be nice and happy
I didn’t split after 15
And leave her feeling crappy

Looking back on it now
I don’t know what we said
Can’t recall if I talked or just
Nodded my head
I can’t remember quite how
But it didn’t stop there
Like that old rule of law
She was “buyer, beware”

Skip a day or a week
And we’re regular tools
Going here, there, all over
As friends that have rules
And the rules are we’re friends
So don’t kiss, touch or give
And don’t bitch at my harem
A man’s got to live

But old Shif is a pusher
Never happy with less
And in this case she wants…
Well, of course, you can guess
What does any chick want
From an old stud like me?
Well first romance, then love
Then a wedding… we’ll see

So it’s almost six months
And surprise, things are good
There’s love, fun and laughter
In our neighborhood
Who would ever have guessed
That a life full and fine
Would come from an email
Or a chat on a phone line?