Ship of Fools

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160 words
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demure101
demure101
211 Followers

To mask our troubles we just sit and grin –
Bad omens can't be heard if you just shout
Pretending there's no skull beneath the skin.

To dull our senses we take flight in gin,
And drown them in a sea of tepid stout
To mask our troubles. We just sit and grin

And when our conscience speaks we raise a din;
We're deaf to what life really is about
Pretending there's no skull beneath the skin.

It's gruesome days that we are living in
But to admit it, reeks of fear and doubt -
To mask our troubles we just sit and grin.

No longer hampered by a sense of sin
We've cut our bonds. The animal's come out
Pretending there's no skull beneath the skin.

Still, common sense sees clearly who will win,
The saint, the sinner or the selfish lout...
To mask my troubles I just sit and grin,
Pretending there's no skull beneath my skin.

demure101
demure101
211 Followers
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6 Comments
theognistheognisover 11 years ago
*****

Excellent.

Five.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerover 11 years ago

Form and content outstanding. I think it's easy to become too enamored with the sound of a villanelle and, as such, it sometimes overshadows the narrative or worse makes it appear less important to the poem's effectiveness, much like a songwriter who hammers you over the head repeatedly with a well turned lyric. This doesn't, and the narrative grabs your attention right away, on top of which the first two lines of the last stanza are climactic before the last two serve as concluding chorus.

This is craft at its best. Clearly, you gave this piece much thought. Congratulations on a well deserved "E."

TzaraTzaraover 11 years ago
Very nice villanelle.

Congratulations on the "E".

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 11 years ago
The subject , as Dawn ..

Puts it is universally appealing -- from London to New Delhi the common man faces hard times while the politically privileged get away with shenigans times without number ---- very aptly written Demure a 5 out of 5 in my book ! Attagirl !!---A9

DawnJDawnJover 11 years ago
Congratulations!

I can see a bit of why this poem won an award! It's very studied, with its repetitions and rhyme scheme, and the subject matter is clearly universally appealing. Nicely done!

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