- Erotic Poetry
- Shuddering Cherry Blossom
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Dangle from the branch
Pink and paper thin
My trembling blossom
Your plum flower
Will I pluck
At my leisure
Pain, just like a season
Will cover you
Press you close to me
Tears in salty monsoon
Refresh my soul
Dropping from the petals
Of my shuddering cherry blossom
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREover 17 years agoI loved your Limerick. I realize that others have conveyed a different view reg. both poems. That is exactly the reason why I wanted to offer you another POV.
The imagery here, while beautiful, is familiar (the cherry blossom the buds etc.) It is commonly used in the context of erotic love. Nothing wrong with it. But if you were to create a fresh image, something which has not been seen before in a similar context, the impact would have been much stronger. I have no doubt that you are capable of doing it, as I have read your Limerick!
It may require some more effort from the readers in creating the connection between the image and the referent, but it pays in greater satisfaction!
Maria2394over 17 years agoeconomy of words but such rich imagery. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem
:)
maria
duddle146over 17 years agoAnother 'word painter' with his lovely collection of vivid images. Exquisite!
