Silence

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225 words
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bordeaux
bordeaux
2 Followers

She
sits
in the
middle
of the bed,
taking in
the quietness
of the place,
never before
realizing
just how
quiet
this place
is without
him.

There's
a slight
loneliness,
but does
it come
from him
not
being there
or
her heart
missing him?

She
scans
the room,
her eyes
passing over
all the
reminders
of
him.

Her eyes
stop
at the
picture
of him
on
the wall.

She feels
a small
twinge
in her
heart
as she
stares
at
the picture.

Her mind
slowly
wondering
to things
that once
were,
things
that will
never
be.

Does
the mind
really make
you feel
things
that are
not
at all
possible,
she thought
as she
stared
into the
smiling
face.

The heart
offering
only a
betrayal
of what
the mind
knows
to be
true?

The tears
softly flowing
down
her cheeks
as she
remembers
the touch,
the sound,
the taste.

Could
her
body
live
without
the
warmth?

Her heart
beating
a little
faster,
her mind
searching
the feeling
of
emptiness.

Her breath
catches
in
her throat
at
the thought.

Would
the
coldness
rise
and
consume
her
completely?

A soft,
sad smile
spreads
across
her face
at the
sight
of him
standing
in the
doorway.

"What's
wrong?"
he asks.

"Nothing,"
she replies.

"It truly is
amazing
the things
one's mind
can
think of
in the
bitter
quietness."

bordeaux
bordeaux
2 Followers
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  • COMMENTS
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4 Comments
dharma_bumdharma_bumalmost 20 years ago
Damn the Torpedoes ~

Of the nattering nabobs of negatism. (Spiro Agnew)

You read from your soul,,, your insight... These TWO things,,, only get BETTER!!! Wait til you see the NEXT 'Sunset', and the 'Sunrise' that follows. Like your stuff. Keep living life!

bordeauxbordeauxalmost 20 years agoAuthor
Trying something new

I was just exploring a concept. Thanks for taking the time to leave feedback. :)

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 20 years ago
IMO

You've tried to turn narrative to poetry simply by the format and it doesn't work really. You invoke the emotion well and I'm sure you could turn this into a free-form poem if you wanted to.

YDDYDDalmost 20 years ago
Silence

The form of presentation does little to improve this work,

except to make some word choices seem less questionable.

Thoughts fragmented by line breaks don't always show the strength of the poet.