Silence of the early morning

Poem Info
75 words
4.25
1.3k
0
Share this Poem

Font Size

Default Font Size

Font Spacing

Default Font Spacing

Font Face

Default Font Face

Reading Theme

Default Theme (White)
You need to Log In or Sign Up to have your customization saved in your Literotica profile.
PUBLIC BETA

Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.

You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.

Click here
Phxray54
Phxray54
3 Followers

Silence
      
the light crunch of gravel under foot
mourning dove's coo
palm fronds creaking on the breeze

the quiet tapping on the door
creaking as it opens

soft voices raised and fingers scraping
guitar strings as the song rises from the radio

gentle footfalls on the stairs

fabric sliding down limbs
     rustling of the sheets
     groans of the bedsprings

the whisper of your lips across my ear

the irregular breaths of anticipation

Phxray54
Phxray54
3 Followers
Please rate this poem
The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous
5 Comments
UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellalmost 13 years ago
~

I do feel it needs something to gather it all together at the moment what you have here is a list before you start writing the actual poem

simply__mesimply__mealmost 13 years ago
good

I like. The word crunching to start is a good contrast to the opening.

CaligrlCaligrlalmost 13 years ago
Simplistic beauty...

Well done, a definite 5 from me!

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 13 years ago
Put's foot in mouth

and apologizes, regarding palms. Relooking, you do have two creakings here, same scenario, another think to think about.

twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 13 years ago
Let's start here:

the light crunch of gravel under foot

mourning dove's coo

palm fronds creaking on the breeze

Not bad opener

Creak? question the the sound, question you will have three unstressed syllables in a row. Ok, further a question for you? On your own, rate your lines, three best to you. The worst? A5 (new writer) keep it up.