Silent Obsession

This silent obsession, my unspoken dream
a wicked temptation that plagues from within
alone with my thoughts in torment, I wish to scream
but my unheard plea brings no salvation from this sin
tempt me not, for this vision cannot ever be
a tragedy that is mine and that forever I shall keep
no-one can ever know, nor will anyone ever see
that which does cause my soul to shiver and weep
each night in the darkness I find my own private hell
as pathetic questions come and consume my mind
only to taunt and to tease, then return within me to dwell
taking with them my hopes to be in shadow confined
I fall to my knees and place my hands over what once were my eyes
each breath I take, I long for to be my last
yet another wish the creator continually denies
offering instead only the anguish of mistakes long past
a lifetime of deceit not that of others but my own
in truth only I deserve credit for my pain
as it was I who banished the light and the world on which it shone
no longer to bare the filth of humanities putrid stain
I remember a time when all did seem so clear
it would be so easy to destroy this vile world
and in a dark cellar the razor kissed my tongue, my eyes, my ears
and into my perfect reality at that moment would I be hurled
some might call this insane and others whisper depraved
but I find myself filled with a sickening desire
a longing for that world where we are nothing but slaves
slowly burning in life's nightmarish fire
yet this matters not for I have sealed my fate
but forever will my choice I defend
for a moment as god my own universe did I create
and now I find comfort in knowing soon it will all end.