- Erotic Poetry
- Simply Addicting
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Author's Note:
This is my first posting on this site, feedback is welcome
I've loved him the moment I was born
It's was just a matter of finding out who it was
And today was the day I did indeed
The moment he passed by I knew
His hair was was golden bronze,
And the way the sun hit it made it glow like honey
His skin was a lovely compliment,
He had spent just enough time bathing in the sun
To turn it into a lovely light baige that glistened sweetly with the beach's water
His face was not overly long,
His eyes were nicely rounded, colored in an intense dark brown
They were topped with eyebrows that never frowned.
His nose was straight and perfectly even,
His lips were an awe
They were thin, but full and soft enough to make you kiss them endlessly
His chest were a site to enjoy
He wasn't all muscle
But you could see evidence that he did work on it
Chest hair was sparse and a nice line of dark hair did appear
It started just below his naval and teased itself down his crotch
His arms were strong and nicely muscled
His legs were long and strong
He had a good amount of muscle on his claves
They showed evidence of a fair amount of soccer playing
And though his hair above his waist were soft
His legs had a fair amount of dark but thin hairs spread evenly amonst them
As he walked by I got a good sniff of him
He smelled of sea salt with a hint of his manly sweetness
I stood up as I watched him from the behind
His back was smooth and like his front, nicely muscled but not overally done
His bum had been a nice juicey one
It looked to be begging to be squeezed
That was the moment I began being addicted
And the moment became heaven for the rest of my life
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 15 years agoI wanted to make sure to give you some feedback, since you asked for some. The poem is a bit wordy. I think instead of constructing a whole list of features that you like, you'd do better to select the most important ones to you and why they are important. For example, does he have strong arms that wrap around you like a security blanket? After you decide which features you want to focus on and why, trim the wording to make your thoughts clear and concise. Using my example, I might say:
"Arms of gentle power-
security blanket on a dark night"
Now, I'm just one poet-- not an authority on poetry by any means. You may find the Poetry Feedback & Discussion forum helpful.
