Non-Erotic PoetrySinging the Valedictorian Blues"What's so rare as a day in Junius?"
Sister Bea said when we last heard Latin
"Anno Domini, Patri, et Fili."
"Spiritu Sancti," Sister added
as we rehearsed our St. Ignatius
pomp and circumstance tassels
that drooped like dangling participles,
some of which Francesca blew
who told all the boys she was going
to lay in the sun on Coney Island
with Coppertone, Coke, and God willing,
anyone who looked like Adonis
before she enters Brooklyn College
in September nineteen eighty-
six which hung my tongue like sex.
"Cuniculus is Latin," Sister Bea said,
"for rabbit and coney a derivative
the Dutch and the Brits called the rabbits
that ate up the island in 1690"
which makes me think of Francesca tonight
while I'm up on the roof in Jackson Heights
with Wolfman Jack on the radio
where ipso facto I'll howl at the moon.
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English
Rarer than a day in Junius is this Poem in
Aprilius ! Full of Latin innuendoes : thanx for sharin' : 5-ed .
!
Great improvement. Nothing to add to the comments already made except ,'Well done.'
And just because I know, cunigre, sometimes spelt conigre or coniger is Old English, Wessex dialect for rabbit.
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pomp and circumstance tassels
that drooped like dangling participles,
Pure genius!
I like how you've connected stanzas 3 and 4 to what came before, "...that drooped", "...to lay" — it creates a delayed effect in reading. It feels a bit like someone breathless telling a story, "...oh, and then", "...also, this".
After the mentions to how this has been edited, I was curious to see the process and this poem went through, and the different versions. It would make an interesting thread in the forum, for those of us (me) who suck at editing. :)more...
It's getting tight!
Been watching this one for awhile, shows how careful editing makes a difference.
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