Sipped Too Hot Coffee

I had just lost $1.25 on betted Soul Caliber 2 games
I came home to my girlfriend’s row home at 2AM
She calls it a “Po-People’s Town House”
I walked up to her room and sat next to her on her futon
She just got done typing up 2 other poems of mine
I didn’t ask her too, she just did it
It was a nice offer, but I knew I would have to retype them anyway

We talked about our night apart. 12 minutes pass
I got up to shit out half a Quizno’s Honey Mustard & Bacon Sub
I kissed her neck and smelled her newly dyed Neptune-blue hair
Had that dead flower smell
I quietly farted as I left the room
I dropped an SBD and whispered “safety” under my breath
The idiosyncrasies of the #2:
I looked for spiders on the upper corners of the walls
And for something to read
Then I sat down on the toilet
It was cold. I could feel my sack shrivel
I faintly heard her complain about the fart she had just unearthed
I giggled

Wrapped in thin plastic and in arms reach
I opened up the comic I found on the sink
As I shat out a comfortable turd
I couldn’t help but think,Johnny The Homicidal Maniacis overrated
But no one cares anymore, not sinceInvader Zimwas cancelled

I stood up to wipe
It’s funny how urine makes the blue 2000 Flushes water green
It’s like Louisiana Voodoo
An unexplainable black magic

I walked back into her room, sprawling out on her frameless mattress
And asked for a “sloppy blowjob”
She looked at me with fake repulsion, laughed, and said no
So I cock-smacked her leg… then her face

“Did you flush the toilet?” She asked

That comment kind of offended me
I replied with disdain
“Uh… yeah.”

Pissed off, I called her a “sloppy bitch”
Then I jumped on top of her and pulled her pajama bottoms half down
I fucked her raw
I came after 2 minutes
I came on her pillow… on purpose
No Os for her
I hit the lights, rolled over on the fresh pillow and went to sleep

We woke up at 12
I made her rush out of bed to whip me something to warm drink
Something to perk me up
As she was making me some cheap caramel cappuccino-esque coffee
With 12 scoops of brown sugar and some Amaretto creamer
I giggled
As I saw that comfortable turd on top the green toilet water
Even though she was right, I was still offended
I didn’t flush it. I pissed on it. I let it stay

I went downstairs to her kitchen
I sipped too hot coffee, burning my tongue and gums
So I made her suck my dirty cock and
She sipped too hot cum, just as I made eye contact with the mailman outside the window