Sleeping

I Wish I was afraid to sleep
Still full of unfinished demands
Paths I want desperately to wander
Books I haven't started and want to finish
I remember wanting to sleep
Being so tired that eyes closed against My will
Oxygen so thin that lips turned blue
And yet hanging on to consciousness
Clutching with both fists
Trying to watch the seconds tick by
The neon numbers never faltering
On this miniscule existence

Now I yearn for peace
To know the blackness of oblivion
The solace of a final breathe
That tastes of purity and freedom
Exonerating Me of guilt
For all the abject failures
The yet unfinished symphony
Lain dormant in My mind

If I wake I will reach out
But no hand waits
If I stir I will listen
But no breathe falls
Silence surrounds Me
As close as any coffin
Sadness hovers
Beckoning

I wish I was afraid to sleep
But truthfully
In honesty
As reality
Is nightmare
I am afraid to wake