Slitting My Own Throat

Allow me to reiterate
You've torn me apart again
Something I can't contemplate
Is the never-ending pain

And I know I don't give a shit
How was I supposed to know?
You never really gave me a hint
Nothing's ever the same, you know

I've wedded with the devil and my face is painted grey
I suck the life from my own heart and I'm filled with hatred for today
I wish I could sleep it all away...

Obscenities rush from the very mouth you kiss
And I know you'd hoped I would be more than this
But now all that's left are angry words for you, I know you wouldn't dare
Treat me as though I were precious
You know... I used to care

Go away, come back... hide me from myself
Don't let me hate my enemy don't let me hate myself
I know I have done wrong and I'll atone someday for my sins
Until then I just wish I could respect myself again

Too many faces in such short time and I'm afraid I'll never know the end
Too many places I have been in my short years, I pretend
Perhaps it's all too jaded, perhaps my memory is not complete
Perhaps I shall one day forget to astound the masses with my own defeat

I'm so weak at heart, so passionate in soul...
I'm so strong in mind, and vulnerable without my experimental control
I'm so utterly bewildered that you can so easily depict
My life within a moment of your pretty frill-framed wit

Your mind was never in debate, your intelligence profound
Your soul was what was lacking in the endless days abound
And I know you think me petty, for lashing out at you
You seem to not remember WHY I do the things I do

Who cares if nothing is tangible in regret?
Who gives two shits enough to think twice?
Who in this god forsaken world can tell me that their emotions
Can suffice?

We're all stuck here, we're all relentless
In our search for the "unknown"
When really it's right there in front of us
We're just to fucking lazy to be content with what we already own

And nothing is sacred anymore,
We all take for granted we are here
The oppressive mouths of evangelistic whores
Leave the bitter taste of experience in my mouth the longer I rest my tears

Wisdom doesn't come with age,
It comes with the knowledge that we are but one
We are save a soul and blood, nothing but the last breath of a dying race
That must needs to appease the bloodlust after the battle's done

We protest all the marriages
And we rile up the nation against one belief
Knowing well the innocent are left to deal with what is left
We conjure up the thought that's it's ok to hate, that oblivion is relief

And so I just sit here, typing away at my desk
Wondering why I bother to speak of topics well past the grave and put to rest
One person says it's over with, and we follow like the sheep we are
Fuck you, world, and fuck me too...
We're all just a second from destruction anyways
We're all just ugly scars.