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Click hereSo was it only quid pro quo
Like a chaste kiss at a dance
Or maybe something, oh I don't know
Like maybe you were in his pants
So little things like looks exchanged
Hands held for just a fraction long
Perhaps this all was just too prearranged
Here comes a broken hearted song.
Well you don't have to tell me so
I saw with my very own eyes
This comes as quite a dirty low blow
Losing you, well that I do despise.
I want to go and break his legs
And try to get us back where we belong
But now I see no matter how I beg
That I've lost you and your heart is gone
So now it's over, I can see we're done
How did I miss it, I should have known
I guess I hoped that you were the one
And once again, I'm all alone.
No more fighting
No more dirty looks
So you are free
Now just please, remove these hooks
I wonder how we came apart
I watched amazed as
You went with him.
No looking back,
And you took my heart
My future looks pretty bleak and grim.
I feel quite broken, and not very smart.
I love the way you capture those emotions.
You really can tap into that part of your soul! I find the last line took away from it. My God you are better that "not very smart."
You are brilliant!
Exquisite!
Talented!
Haven't written poetry for longer than I can remember and the only one I every had a teacher comment on was one i wrote for Shits & Giggles based on John Carpenter's The Fog. The first one, not that lame excuse of a remake. The teacher caught me working on it and said it was good and to keep working on it. Needless to say, it surprised the Hell out of me.
Keep it up Dave!
It's one of those poems that comes from a dark place.
The last stanza didn't really work, but other than that I enjoyed it.