Someday

There is no such thing as silence
Even emptiness has a sound
Although it is a forlorn and silent scream
Resounding in my head, raging in my heart

The ticking of the clock reminds me of time slipping by
Alone
The world moves all around me, without me
I am disengaged

Separated from life and love
In a dark cave of my own making
I sought silence from the pain
Yet, the pain echoes loudly off smooth, flat walls

Your deep, gentle voice mocks me
Your sweet laughter taunts me
Your sensuous moans of our love torment me
Your memory violates my mind and heart with despair

Yet, I am slowly waking up
More and more I feel less resistance to letting go of the pain
Which I have tenaciously clung to as that’s all I have left of you
So close to being free of the chains of loss
That repress my heart and soul

That's the key, to free myself from something that can never be
With you
Until then, I can't let anyone else in or myself out
As long as I hold myself back with something that no longer exists

Someday I will free myself to live and finally love again, someday