- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Sometimes
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Click hereSometimes
I see my life as a trap;
It's teeth snapped around my paw.
I claw at myself
Because I'm desperate to be free
Sometimes
I love you
because I am never
so beautiful
as when I am reflected in your eyes.
Sometimes
I stumble.
I crawl along the earth.
Face pointed down.
My dreams lost in the cold mud.
Sometimes
I raise my head,
see the endless stars,
cry out,
and weep at the wonder I have found.
- COMMENTS
KOLKOREover 17 years agoI felt ‘ousted’ from your poem when you turned from the strong animal imagery to the ‘mirroring eyes’ imagery. IMO, it was a classic example how a mixed metaphor could derail what is otherwise a very strong poem. My advice: create separate poems, even on the same subject, each with its own main image. They WILL be different. Thank you for your poem!
