Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here
In this alien land; why do I wake up
Each day, each week, each year
To gaze into the eyes of someone
That I once thought loved me?

Sometimes I wonder how a person
Can run hot, cold, lukewarm
All at once; how can the sensation
Of each mood, like a shower,
Both chill me and set me aflame
With its power?

Sometimes I wonder at my cowardice,
How can I take so much and still breathe
The sweet air? Never. I'm standing on a precipice,
Waiting, waiting, waiting to get down...

Sometimes I wonder if I can survive the fall.