Sometimes I Think I'm A Lesbian

Written from the viewpoint of some women who are in denial about what they really feel

Pert perfect breasts
The bigger the better and long long luscious legs
I swear sometimes it's more than enough to make me blush
As erotic fantasy after fantasy unwinds inside my mind
Never quite sure what it all means
Never really ready to that that deep a look
Into what's going on inside my head
In my heart
Torn between these secret longings and what my family tells me I should be
Curious but afraid
I must admit
To my horror and my shame
Sometimes oh God yes
Sometimes I think I'm a lesbian

Catching myself too often checking out my fellow females
Hating myself for comparing them to the men around them
Finding what I should be wanting lacking
Craving carnally sweet eye candy
Licking my lips
Moaning softly
Flushing a much deeper shade of red than before
As I stop my hand from wandering down below
Where I know I should never want it to go
Blaming it all on the devil's twisted shoulders
My sensual desires so damn out of control

Dying to deny it
But sometimes I really feel as if I can't help it
Can't handle it
All alone and on my own
Got no friends or family I can turn to
Talk to
Lost in my sinful thoughts of taking pleasure
From another of my same sex
Kisses and caresses
Driving me out of my mind
All this lesbian day dreaming
Feels so wrong
Yet sometimes I can't help but wonder
Could it really be right if true love is what it leads me to?

Mouth watering
Knees trembling and knocking
God help me
I'm shakin'
Shakin' like I got a crackhead's fever
Addicted to a kinky new lifestyle
Thinking of taking on new lovers
Lovers that I just can't resist
On nights of newfound passion and desire
Dare I delve
Into the uncharted waters of a forbidden lesbian bliss
I groan
Wondering
Ever wondering
Straight or gay?
Just what the hell am I?
I swear
I just don't know anymore......

2007 Ramona Thompson