Sometimes you have to...

That’s the wrong spoon to put in the sugar
When my sister came in you wouldn't hug her

Now you are getting crumbs on the floor
This is not what I wanted – go back to the store

SLAM – and put the damn seat down!

Why did you eat the hard boiled eggs
You’re getting pecker tracks on my legs

The coffee’s too strong
The alarm is set wrong

SLAM – will you put the damn seat down?

You played the wrong card
You left your tools in the yard

You smell like a skunk
This drawer’s full of your junk

SLAM –just put the damn seat down!

You’re driving too fast
These brakes just won’t last

You need to go and cut the grass
I saw you looking at her ass

SLAM – I’M GOING TO GLUE THIS DAMN SEAT DOWN!!!

So I took her to bed
And I gave her good head

And all through the night
Showed her what I do right

I loved her up,and loved her down
I spread her legs and went to town

then I stood her on her head
and loved her while her face turned red

I filled her north and then her south
and when she moaned I filled her mouth

When she finally said "no more"
I made her do it on the floor

She said now she remembered why
I would always be her guy

So I got back up on my feet
And peed right on toilet seat

AND I DIDN’T WIPE THE DAMN SEAT DOWN!