Spinning

I am spinning with it, this powerlessness.
For once, by choice:
a surrender, not a defeat.
I find ecstasy instead of a fight.
Relief, instead of a need for flight.

I am spinning with it. Dizzy.
My heart so used to clenching,
now just wants to burst.
I want to give over, give in, give all.
To be taken, be completely enthralled.

I am spinning with such need.
It is beyond beyond me,
this stunned, shamed, shaking joy.
I am disturbed to the core with bliss,
and a foreign, reckless zealousness.