Starving Artist

Del

didn't detract, the first stanza seems clunkly as hell. am confused as to its utility, it really starts to pour it on from S3L3, and it pours quite nicely, thereafter. or hereafter as the case may be.
5ed
title, wiggles hand, too universal, Del might be better.more...

greenmountaineer, two things:

1) Yes, it does suggest other artists. In my haste to "condemn" the references, I forgot to point out more things that I liked about the poem (and I do like it). The attempt to trade napkins with autographs, e.g. I don't know much about starving artists (nor, frankly, artists in general), perhaps because where I live there aren't many. That is, you're either a successful artist, or not at all. :) I'm often baffled by the diversity and the scale at which first world economies are able to support art, and hobbies, and particular interests, even if only at the "starving" / subsistence level.

2) About Sally, take into account that sometimes my English skill fails quite spectacularly. Don't worry too much about it — I did get what was happening, just not immediately. And I think that is my main criticism, that the references might serve as a distraction (in the short term), rather than enhance your meaning / message. Of course, reading about Delmore Schwartz made me appreciate the poem more (long term).

Thank you for the response.more...

The poem does allude to Delmore Schwartz, Tsotha, but I'd like to think that it also suggests the many troubled, "starving" artists whose reach exceeded their grasp and perhaps in part because of that died too soon, some through drink or drugs (Dylan Thomas, Janis Joplin, etc), some at their own hand (Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, etc).

Schwartz, one of my favorite poets drank himself to death, and it was several days before they found him in the hotel room where he lived.

As to Sally, I thought I presented enough attributes for the reader to realize she was the bartender (bartenders usually aren't allowed to drink alcohol on duty; hence the "Canada Dry), but given your comments, perhaps I'll re-visit that.

Thanks for the feedback.more...

Is this a poem about Delmore Schwartz? I had to go find the references, and peeling a layer always adds to the meaning. On the other hand, as I've said in the past, unlike others, I don't really care for the "reference treasure hunting", in itself. Puzzles are cool, thinking is cool, peeling layers is cool, but being "outside" isn't really something I can fix. Thank ye gods for Google.

Of course, it could be argued that the only reason why I had to go looking for references is because I am ignorant of that which the poem is talking about. Which is fine, I think — the poet can hardly be condemned. Your poem has a target audience.

So, how did I like the poem, *before* going after the reference? I thought it was nice. Some really good lines, e.g. "you never did find the ink / for words from God in uppermost case".

Reading "He saw you on Bleeker", it's immediately obvious that it's a street. However, "Sally cried in her Canada Dry / who wouldn't ring her register" sounds strange, who is it that wouldn't ring the register? Canada Dry? (no, that's a drink)

I like the mention of Baudelaire, and imho you could have a larger audience with a poem as good as this one, just by not having so many references which are meant only for certain people to "get". I still like the poem, despite the treasure hunt.more...

Very enjoyable and thought provoking read

Very enjoyable and thought provoking read.

I was preparing a witty (well OK I thought it was witty) comment about needing to get to grips with it. However I think I do get what you were doing. I mean, there has to be a twist or riddle, doesn’t there.

Please excuse my saying what I think the poem is doing. The first stanza is a very nice non sequitor (well it would be if it were following instead of preceding & my Latin is not up to it – non anticipator?). Anyway I do like it. This establishes that Del the impoverished writer (or artist)? is apparently a third party. I am not sure if Eric was mistaken in seeing him or not (or if it matters) but Bleeker establishes that it is in Grenwich Village (thank you Google). He is charming, Sally loves him and he bums drinks. His muse is not currently on speaking terms with him (words from God in uppermost case).

The final two lines provide the twist, the speaker is talking to the sheets (as one does) and thus the speaker is revealed as Del himself – so we have to go back and take a double-take.

OK, am I the first to submit a correct solution and thus win a signed copy of your little book – with a free pen? Or, sod it, have I got it wrong again?

There is a lot I like in it. Flow obviously but I am too ignorant to work out how that is done.

I particularly like the conceit of the first verse, the slightly off centre way everything comes out (e.g. about Sally), the ‘you never did find the ink for words from God in uppermost case’ (especially the uppermost) and the ‘naked bed in this naked place’. But most of all the voice or persona of the narrator.

Really, really nice piece and a lot to learn from.more...