Step-Grandmother's Funeral

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i remembered how
my heart raced the first time you
touched me, for real,
in the way i imagined
you touched the women
guarding your walls against your
parents hearing truths
they already knew: their son
was now a Man.

you seemed flushed.

i wish the flush you show me
now was as fearless
and cheerful as your hands then,
cousin. shame quickly
slays the confused politeness
of reunion in
your eyes, as you tried not to
embrace me too close,
'fore your wife and mother, twins
to one another

but not me.

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