Still Hankering

34 years, and still hankering
for things I can’t have

I see this one married, and undersexed woman.
She wants so much to feel attractive again.
She is attractive to me.

She wants to love me
for the moments we have
between now and July
to return to her husband and children.
Kinky games and partying
have never felt so naughty.

I see this other.
She too is married.
6 years ago one night
we kissed and danced
and rode my motorcycle through the night
feeling her arms wrapped around me
her sternum pressed to my spine
the thin orange dress with a high split
bare thigh in the summer air at 50 miles per hour.

Her husband is one of the best men that I know.
He gives me his house slippers when I come over,
literally takes them off his feet for me.
He buys me beers and listens to my hopes and defeats.

I want his wife so much.
But I can’t sneak behind his back
like a burglar
eating someone else’s pie.

I see this other woman
who dances like angels and devils
are consorting in her body

She talks to me and tells me
in her hoarse hangover
not to fuck stupid
and be careful of my small places.

I love her voices.
On the phone she talks to me about
her friends and the politics of sex.

And I am one of her friends.
In person she whispers close to my ear,
warm breathy moistness.

Now I am choosing:
naive love
the hands of a stolen woman
on my hips
showing me how to merengue.
Hushed laughter behind closed doors
naked to each other
as my flat mates sleep.