Stones

This poem was posted in response to a kind note from Rybka - which appeared in my mailbox as 'feedback' on January 12, 2006

Blessings upon you, Rybka



060111 – 2125 STONES (major edit)

By Carl Edgar Law © 2006 060111

I found you in a field of raisins and we
danced there for a time
laughing
turning into wine

together

I found you in a well and we
climbed out together, you
lithe and strong
helping me up

out of one well until I
fell into another, I

found you, tripped you, fettered you but
your fetters just melted and you floated you
just floated
not above it all, not above at all at all just
in your big balloon I

found you

in a light that
blinded me, tho' I
DID see you for moments I

found you running free and tried
to catch you but you
laughed at my presumption

were later seen on the roadway
skipping with a small dog I

found you

curled by the fire quiescent, I
clamoured for action im-
patient with Occam's
ambiguities, and when
you chased me through a field of poppies

my demons found me first
knew me by name

you were alarmed but
not frightened not
alone you were

light as a feather, free
as the hawk that hovers and spins
all to its heart

moments unfold

skating on a wire it was not a chore to find you
just imbalancing I was
wary

though I did catch you once
or twice
or thrice

framed in
30FPS moving ways I

found you lovely, found you
always beyond

II

When we tumbled in
Autumn leaves
your skirt flew up and showed your knees I
pondered for a season then
ran away

When we dived into the snow as
would-be paratroops your
cheeks glowed pink and you
laughed, laughed
at the full moon just above laughed

laughed and laughed when we

flung ourselves on the bed to
test and slay it we
lost skin-hunger, found
warmth with night-sweats and murmurs, warmth

at mere toe caress, warmth as
two fingers touched, warmth
and murmurs, warmth
and kisses, warmth, when I
filmed your face
limned in candlelight
the lens
fell into a quiet field of poppies we

found each other as bookmarks
caught twixt myriad pages they
appeared randomly, they

marked the reading of our journey, marked us

"You worry too much," she said and I did, I did
but not always, not
always. Sometimes
was but a small caring thing a

small caring

III

I was hollow and
let a hollow man come
into the void, into the void he
alarmed me, but it was not him, not
him at all

not at all

it were as though some treacle
growing on the carpet
faltered me and you

seemed to, seemed
to disappear for a moment, for a moment
to leave me, you
seemed to disappear for a moment as

things disappear when clouds
gather in eyes
heavy with rain I

saw you through love
darkly
not mindful not
mindful that you glimmered and
could be seen, could be

seen by your third eye, could
be seen by others but not
by the unaware, not

by the hardening heart, by the
atherosclerosis
of dreams and magic when
dreams
had no faith when
magic was ill-used


IV

When we skipped
laughing on crazy paving I
tripped, I
tripped while you
merely floated above the waves, merely
floated, you were

not there to
pick me up, not there
to pick me up you

thought I would float with you, you
thought

V

emotional attachments
fall to the maudlin, love is

the slow ease of nothingness, the
slow ease of all, the slow ease of the beating pulse the
slow ease
of quiet memory the
slow ease of not speaking, the
slow ease of seeing the slow ease of
nothingness and light, the

slow ease of the awakening heart

the slow ease of
perfect stillness, love has

no cravings it
lives within the perfect light it

sleeps

quiescent and needless it
sleeps in perfect stillness, does not

need to DO THINGS to
BE THINGS it

does not need, love is

and will be, it

vibrates tunefully
as a simple etude, it
mellows the hunting wolf, gives
pause when I

saw love coming I
ran up a tree and a bear caught me
under its paw, a bear

can you imagine

how I cried out for help, can you
imagine

a bear of all things, of
all things catching me, catching me
up a tree

under its paw, I
should have loved it

VI

Simple dreams
fall to the light one awakes
refreshed, re-freshed and ready
ready unto the day, just the
day and no more

one step at a time
second by second
letting go, letting the light
have its way

perfuse

letting in the light and no more
one lumen at a time

simple dreams

VII

Lovers have simple dreams, simple -
lacking attachment they
live in the stillness, lovers

do not say, do not tell, do
not

it is known and remains
as it is, is
what it is no less, no
less nor more
than what it is, just
is - AGENDAS

are for clipboards, they
do not bend do not
suckle to the wind they

lack the plasticity of instinct lack
all that is necessary
to be unnecessary

less to need and more to love and
what is left

but the sweet
vibrations

mindless and empty of agendae

VIII

Here
in the twilight of my life I
feel you, feel you
while not knowing, not
knowing, not
knowing how you feel when an icicle

dangles from your toque as though
you had entered a cathedral

of stalagtites, here

in the twilight of my life the more
I want the less, the
less I find you, the more
I need the less, a

legion of possibilities

Is only an army of stones

-30- (5:40pm, Wednesday, January 11, 2006) (major edit at 21:25)
(some additional edits, January 12, 2006, 1555)