Struggling or Strangling

Another goddamn month to wait
Months and months have passed
Waiting, waiting, waiting
Now another month, and then another
The ride that started out so great
Filled with promise, filled with love
Nothing can compare
To what had felt so wonderful so new
A lifetime of waiting had ended then
Or so was thought.
All too quickly the waiting started
Pain stopped all the joy of loving
The wait was oh so long.
But then for a short while
Smiles, laughs, love and giggles
Filled the void once more.
Love again would sore
Then again the wait
More tragedies, more remedies
Pain a factor, physical or other
For months and months and months,
The ride became a roller coaster
With the breaks gone out, no holds barred.
Memories of what had started
Barely kept the hope alive
Through all the ups and downs
A vicious circle came to form
Always something in the way
Another reason to wait, another day to cry
Waiting, waiting waiting
Soon it had been many months
Memories were but dreams of the past
What was truth and what was real
Had become the daily ordeal
One now expected that
Something would always be in the way.
Yet love held strong, though memory fading
As always something reached out
Whether a smile, a joke, a kiss saying more
Things to hang on to and make it thru
The very breath of ones soul.
Waiting waiting waiting
So many months that began with hope
Swinging, grabbing each straw
Now another goddamn month to wait
How can this be
The breaks put on, the ride halted
Thrown up and out, no sense or reason
What was it that was waited for
A lifetime spent waiting
Swimming in frustrated tears
Waiting for next month to come
To hear the words again
Another day, another week
You still have more to wait.
For what, why wait….