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60 words
3.83
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Tied to the bed
You leave me there
Alone to think
Of what we’re doing
I know I’m safe
It’s part of the game
And I want to be
Entirely yours
You come in
Looking at me
I can see in your eyes
You’re nervous too
You kiss me hard
Make me be silent
And then you begin
Devouring me

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3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
Too clinical

This poem needs more show and less tell. Describing how your body physically reacts to being left alone & tied up would carry so much more poetry. Let your audience feel what you feel.

LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

What should be intense again sounds so clinical, almost like a factual report, devoid of feeling.

AmyfriendAmyfriendabout 17 years ago
Magical moments...

of wonderful things to cum... the anticipation builds.

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