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Click hereDon't I remember? Yes, I do; but that
was only last year. There won't be a string
of thoughts by which to know this one. I did
not see the swallows fly, although they must
have lighted on the wire, one day in spring,
and paused a while, and found their wonted eaves
to build and nest and stay the summer, nor
did I observe them swooping down before
approaching rain to catch the frightened flies
in mouthfuls for their nestlings. In the grim
grey curtains they would stay behind and when
the sun was out they'd soar away like dreams
not yet deceived. Still, in my mind I stand
and watch their flight take off and head down south
reflected in the lake and hear their shrill
goodbyes until they fade beyond the hill.
This feels to me as though it might benefit from an edit. For example do you need any of the first three lines before "I Did" - "wonted" is accurate but is its archaism distracting? - I dunno. You might consider a comma after "rain." - Two syllable "nestlings" breaks up the musicality just a tad. One syllable, young, or something like that possibly? - Drop "away"? and "beyond the hill" perhaps. A 4.5 so I'll go slightly higher
On the other hand, you can ignore my meanderings.
and for those who remember the migrations ..TK U MLJ LV NV