Take, Eat

1.
A shaman said to me,
“People eat drama because they have no real food.
Drama's better than nothing.”
If you're still worried
do they love you?
Do they know you're an impostor?
Is he coming back to you?
Are people talking?
If you still worry
you're eating drama. Not real food.

I have learned to eat time, and the sunset.
I eat fuck you, I eat judge not
lest ye be judged. I eat your disapproval.
And god eats me.

2.
When I was a little girl
they read me that bible verse
about not being lukewarm,
because god would spit you
out of his mouth.
Then I was scared of god,
because what was I doing in his mouth
in the first place?

Later on I read in this other book
how this soldier had a long talk with god,
about whether or not to go to battle,
and he asked god to show his true face,
and what he saw
was everyone, everyone he loved
streaming into god's mouth,
being devoured. He took it to mean
that we were already dead,
and that it didn't matter if the people on the field
were his friends and family,
because if they were in the wrong
he had to help them along into god's mouth.

What feast
do the gods prefer? Does the taste
of souls sour in the mouth
like gossip, like pain?