- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Tangled Web
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
The spider's legs curl inwards
to the centre
of a dark and poisonous carapace.
She hangs in shadowed gloom.
The web entangled
round empty husks
of happiness,
sucked dry through fangs
starving for a taste.
Hang now alone;
companion to the dust
that shrouds each sticky thread.
This is the house she's built
No matter that the walls
are true perfection
and that the sun glitters
through each faceted pane.
No matter these,
when naught more than a gust
of truth gently brushes
past, they crumble.
All that's left is the spider,
curled inwards,
empty of all but regret.
- COMMENTS
twelveoonealmost 19 years agoI agree with Sack, collapse not only is a truer word, it sounds better.
one minor flaw, in something otherwise very well done.
Anonymousalmost 19 years agoI'm SO glad someone drew my attention to this poem. Delightfully creepy and vivid.
Tess
Anonymousalmost 19 years agobut intriguing. love your spider imagery, even though the 8-legged crawlies freak me out.
Jennifer Calmost 19 years agoI love how you have
described the web and
how fragile it is,
just like life?
A real pleasure to read,
Thanks.
~ Jenn
sackalmost 19 years agoYou could put another spin on the "empty husks"...perhaps they are sad because they are remnants of a former insect? I also would work on the longest paragraph a little....I don't think you need the word "they" at the very end, as you have already used "these" earlier. Also, although real concrete walls crumble, would the strands of a spider web "crumble"? Perhaps collapse or unravel might work better here.
A delightful well written poem that deserves even more polishing to reach its full potential
