Taste and Shame

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taste and shame
together on my
tongue
for years of good training
not easily untaught

pleasure so fleeting
and undeserved only
to serve
you. throwing
myself into your passion
for lack
of releasing
my own.

and the absence
of voice and language
speaks to my silence
my meditation
on denial
my affirmation
of absolute
refusal

my facade of
stone skin so
studied and numb
yet you persevere
and battle
and chase
demanding attention

anxious murmurs
leaking through
cracking through
the surface
like terror
like joy
like the unknown

only through
seeking your sighs
stumbling upon
my own, infantile
along the way
unfamiliar
abject

reverberating off
my empty walls
echoing back to
myself in foreign
noise fading in
and out
until, slightly,
trembling lips
mouth taboo
notions of
yes and more

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