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Click hereThis poem is a challenge poem in which another person, The Mutt and I wrote every other line. The Mutt wrote the first and every other line after (the third, fifth, seventh, etc.). I wrote the second line and every other line after (the fourth, sixth, eighth, etc.) To credit The Mutt, I think this is an excellent poem. I highly recommend reading The Mutt's work. Comments are welcome.
Her eyes had the wisdom of water
silver lining breezes haloed her with grace,
the scars of lessons learned etched in alabaster,
spunk laced her serene smile,
grateful for the aches she had earned.
She turned to me, washing my naivety
from me, like chocolate from a baby's smile.
In that space, the air about us turned
and roiled like the smoke of an untended fire.
Past and present collided and converged
into an infinite singularity of want and need
and an accountable, vast sum of love and fear.
She put a slender finger to my trembling lips
quelling my thunderous heart,
and breathed her soul into my ear.
In that space, youth wafted with the fading smoke.
very erotic and real, the emotion really translates, loved the chocolate line.
It seemed that what was written was by one person....both of you seemed to have melded your thoughts into one, and the words, the syntax, the metaphors, all were wonderfully woven into a piece that gives honor to the one whose heart is still kept.
Some great lines in this one.
I find this one to be very appealing: Her eyes had the wisdom of water