- Erotic Poetry
- Temptation
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Click hereIt’s like fire
Fun to tease
It calls
Makes me want to play
Such a rush the
Flame brings
Dancing
Full of power
I reach to touch
Burning twisted satisfaction
- COMMENTS
biplaymate420almost 20 years agoAuthorcan't always have it your way... as for the stanzas and spacing, I felt the way i did it made it more of what I was trying to show to my audience
tungtied2ualmost 20 years agoof this poem almost led me to skip over it too fast. I like the images, but agree with Eve that the phrasing could have been more forceful. Look forward to more.
WickedEvealmost 20 years agoand you're probably not prepared to have someone come along and make suggestions about it. But... I have to say that it may be interesting to try these line breaks:
It?s like fire
Fun to tease
It calls
Makes me want to play
Such a rush the
Flame brings
Dancing
Full of power
I reach to touch
Burning twisted satisfaction
This pulls it together a bit better and places more emphasis on your ending stanza. By the way, I like that last stanza about the burning twisted satisfaction.
