- Erotic Poetry
- temptress
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Deep shadows like obsidian flakes,
one kiss, one taste is all it takes.
Tempted and temptress combined in the one,
she'll make your heart sing, shell make your heart cum.
Come to her, need her want her some more,
she is the lover, the mother, the angel and whore.
She breathes and bereaves her loss of control,
angels and demons fight for her soul.
Tasting delight she swims to the light
surrenders to passion, gives up the fight.
- COMMENTS
pearlbaptistabout 13 years agoAuthorThankyou for your helpful suggestions. What I am unsure of is to whether it is best to follow the rules of poetry, of to break them. As in the composition of music it is the discordant note, the changing rhythm that adds interest to a song. Would this also be the same with prose?
GuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago...emotion and rhyme but your rhythm is out of kilter. Try tapping out the syllables as you read your poem aloud then prune the lines to fit the rhythm.
Tess
tigerjenabout 13 years agoRaw....sensuous.....very well done! I look forward to more poetry from you.... :)
