- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Bearded Clam Blues
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I got forty three condoms, all of them unused.
But I got no love, cause you think it’s lewd.
I got $4500, not a dime is spent,
is that enough to find you or will you give me a dent.
Goin’ downtown, gonna see my gal,
gonna sing her a song, she’ll whip out the mace if I show her my ding-dong.
*Oh yeah,
yeah, we all got the blues.
From these hoochie coochie mamas,
yeah, the Bearded Clam blues.
Always with the cold shoulder, turning away;
well excuse me Ms. Prudish for wanting a lay.
Maybe I’ll try a hooker, lovin’ slips on by,
loosin’ money and mind, who needs the lie?
Repeat *
Bridge
On the ninth day god created sex,
why can’t we get a piece of the girl from Terminex?
In the meantime, I’ll use Mr. Five,
five being the fingers, girl wanna watch then writhe?
Repeat *; repeat last two lines of *
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