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Click hereThe bottle calls
He can always hear it
His hands itch to answer
He can't control himself
He's out of control
All his friends left hours ago
Only the bottle left to keep him company
They try to stop him
He won't be stopped
He dive's into the bottle
He can't control himself
He's out of control
All his friends left hours ago
Only the bottle left to keep him company
He staggers around
Everythings swaying and splitting
He can't see straight any more
He can't control himself
He's out of control
All his friends left hours ago
Only the bottle left to keep him company
The cement rushes up to meet him
Every one freaks when he never gets back up
He had a one way ticket to hell
there but for the grace of Goddess go I. Damn that's harsh. I like it.
It is well focused with some excellent phrasing. You'll want to add an apostrophe to everythings in the fifth stanza. All in all a good poem.
jim : )