The Challenge

The Challenge
Don't do it, they told me.
You'll regret it, they warned me.
Once you let it in, you'll be hurt, be burned.
No one gets out without scars – why do you think you're different?
Please, just walk away, let it be.

But I could never resist a challenge.
So I picked it up and held it to me.
And it twined around my heart so softly
I almost didn't know it was there.
And with time, it was so soothing
so warming
it shot tendrils into every crevice of my heart
until there was no part of my heart that did not have it in there.
I felt so complete with it there.
I saw colors I had never seen.
Music had new depth and complexity.
I lived life more fully, more completely than I had ever done before.
Oh, how I loved the feeling!
And feelings!
Hate was darker, love brighter, every feeling stronger than I'd ever felt.
I wondered how I had lived before it came along.
It was as if it had always been there
and I could not imagine it any other way.

And then –
Oh my dear God, and then –
The tearing.
The ripping.
It was exactly as they said.
No part of my heart was left undamaged.
I thought I would die.
I hoped I would die.
I was scarred, damaged, broken beyond repair.
The fall to the depths, after living on the heights...
Icarus reborn.
Reigning in Hell is no reward.

If you take it in, if you bring it into your heart,
you will get hurt,
you will be burned.
This is true.
They are right.
And knowing what I know, having been through what I've been through,
if ever I get the chance to go through this all over again...

I would.