- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Cost of Wallpaper
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There were fronds of ferns
As arty splash
Exploding against her walls
She painted them in a fit over
The cost of wallpaper
Her anger resulted in
A plume of foliage extending over
The entire foyer that
Wrapped around the full
Length of hall
Leaking into the bath
Her steam only stopped
When she ran out of paint
I never confessed the purple-
Pinkish attempted sunsets looked garish
I just enjoyed the
Whimsy of her ire
- COMMENTS
WickedEvealmost 16 years agoI agree that it would be best to end the poem with "When she ran out of paint." I do like the last stanza, though. Maybe add it to the beginning of the poem, put it in italics. It could make an interesting introduction before the meat of the poem is offered to the reader. Oh, and single spacing would help. Other than that, wonderful poem.
ElmerGlewabout 16 years agoThe first stanza is by far the stronger, I think, and you might consider dropping the second altogether. (Though I see one of your other comments disagrees with me on that.) I'd also fool around with some of the words, but that would be making your poem mine. The lines "Leaking into the bath / Her steam only stopped" were very nice, and the title is fabulous. The line spacing makes it hard to read, though. Generally very good.
ohhh_liviaabout 16 years agoI have to say, I have read through a half million pages of archives and old poetry threads. I have read your older works and this is wonderful. Such vivid images. A glorious example of show, don't tell. And, the ending is perfect.
best wishes,
olli
LeBrozabout 16 years agoThis poem has been selected for listing in Wednesday's New Poems Review.<br>
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