The Edge

I stood there, glaring at the edge. Slipping toward it, teetering on the edge of something; insanity, incredible loss, a broken heart. Wishing I knew, so I could prepare myself for it, but inviting the resurgence of emotion nonetheless. For then, I would at least feel alive. My life lies shattered around me, and you stand there, studied on your pedestal I’ve built for you in my mind. I no longer feel worthy of you, of us. And out of madness, I retrieve a brick from the fallen walls, and then another, screaming to the sky to make me stop. Begging you to pull it down again like you did not so long ago. Walls built out of necessity over a lifetime, that you traversed in weeks.

I’ve fallen for chaos and uncertainty. Emotional states that I never knew before in my perfect shell, yet now I welcome them with open arms. For if nothing is certain, the accountability is no longer mine.

The darkness continues to envelope me, strange in it’s comfort. I’ve come to invite the darkness and it’s pain, for that’s all I know in the space between US. I don’t see, or even remember the light. The light that showed me so many things in the past and guided me toward you, toward limitless possibilities and squashed any hesitation I may have held.

With the edge looming before me, I reach for your hand. I find it, it’s grip within mine faltering between light and tentative to strong and familiar. No longer pleading, I leave my destiny to a dance with fate, for the façade of control has ended. Whether the darkness takes me over the edge, or somehow the sun manages to rise, know that it was all worth it to me. Every glimpse into you, every moment you were mine, every memory burned into my mind will always be the most significant things in my life.