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Click herePonder, Persia, thine enemy’s rot
On the battlefields of Vartanantz,
And be not salacious with thy spoil
As she weeps defeat in thy tent.
Yazdegerd! Though thou the victor be
And Armenia burn with pyres,
Ahura Mazda judges thee
If thou visit thy harm upon her.
Fear the drone of Ahriman’s demons
Who chant a dirge with this woman’s wail
Perhaps for thee in Drûgâskan,
The deepest pit of hell.
Wife awaits at Taysafun’s gates.
Arise! Away! Release thy chattel!
Else there be strewn in the stain of thy mud
The soul of her fathers in the soul of thy son!
I appreciate, Tzara, you took time to web research some of the unfamiliar proper nouns, particularly the Battle of Vartananz in 451 AD by the dominant Persians against the Armenians who fought for religious freedom as early Christians.
The poem was an attempt to promote cultural diversity through an actual historical reference outside our usual American perspective. I think the concept has merit, but next time I'll stay closer to home in choosing my metaphors and language.
. . . was mine. I thought I signed in, but I guess I forgot. Thine, TheRainMan
for this reader, every line in the poem is an invitation to stop reading and go do something else. that doesn't seem like a good thing. even if I'm not referring to the silly language, but to the fact that one must stop reading to go do research, that's not a good thing. if you give your reader any reason to leave the poem, they might not come back. I confess I could not make it to the end. I saw no reason to.
would of dropped in place of everyday language. Simulating Aeneidic language hasn't worked since the Aeneid.
I'm not so sure what I think about it as a <i>poem</i> (I guess not bad, but not fabuloso either), but it sure as hell got me to look up some history I knew nothing about. So, thanks.<p>
Probably as a poem, there are too many things one has to look up. I liked that, but not everyone would.