- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Internal Weed
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Click hereOH GOD, bitterness like a bad seed roots within me,
It grows in the dark heart and I can not kill the seedling.
I watered it with my own duplicity,
And feed it well with my hate and loathing.
OH ABBA, I swear if you were to cut me open and splay my skin,
All you would see is the spreading dark tentacles within.
The seething, roiling mass of cancerous rage,
That is so repressed it paces unfelt inside its cage.
OH FATHER, please empty my cup, I can not drink more.
Find me a place that my soul I can restore,
So I can stop my trips to the edge of the abyss,
How it gets easier each time to look into that mist.
OH LORD, what if I no longer can pull away.
What if this is as good as it gets in the end of the day.
I need a sign that innocence and mercy do exist,
Please send me a guide to take me out of this
- COMMENTS
Vox_over 16 years agoAuthorI did this as an experiment in style and expression. The terms used to address God are all words used to name God
Abba is the Aramaic word for "father." The word occurs three times in the New Testament. In many religions, the supreme God is given the title and attributions of Father.
This was not meant to be an expression of Christianity as much as we call on whatever we believe is a higher power when feeling lost. So in that aspect I feel the use of the forms of address were consistent in meaning.
I did this to say something that may not work for everyone that reads it and thats ok. However, whether I rework this piece one day or not I still feel that there was something that needed to be said. I doubt anyone creates work that is enjoyed by everyone and I do not mind constructive feedback It is how you learn to improve.
I write for myself in the end I guess something about this piece I like enough to toss it out there.
Oh and I have to say if you do not like something and bother to comment, have the courtesy to have something more instructive than "this piece needs help"....all that says to me is you have nothing I should care about to contribute.
Anonymousover 16 years ago...but this "poetry" needs a lot of help.
KOLKOREover 16 years agoI had a somewhat confusing back and forth between the headings of the stanzas. The similar structure calls for comparison of course, but the addressees are not fully ‘compatible’; not that I am complaining. Lord and GOD do of course; Father could join them on one hand, but not if it's coalitional with ABBA (any acquaintance with Hebrew BTW?) which of course is exactly ‘father’ only with NO connotations, at least not in the way you put it in the poem, to a deity. But I can live with a compromise like ‘some trusted authority’. I think that any complainer to some higher moral authority is still a believer (see Job, even Jesus). For that I envy you.
